FYI: Good Girl Season is a rebirth of my blog Good Girls Finish First. (The following blog post was transferred from there, originally posted on December 16, 2019.) Enjoy!
Today, I turned 30, and I felt that it was necessary for me to do absolutely nothing, except....reflect. I woke up with the word "PURPOSE" replaying in my head. So I sat down and just started writing. Below is a letter from me to you....whether you're a complete stranger, friend, or associate. Thank you for taking the time to read it (whether you finish it or not lol) it means a lot to me!
Dear Good Girls,
I remember turning 21 in college, and (like most of us) thought I had everything figured out. I told myself that by the time I turned 30, I would be in my dream career (as a famous news anchor), own a few homes, be married with no kids (b/c I HATED kids), and of course be wealthy!
Yep, look at me...just young, carefree, and naive! 9 years later and absolutely NONE of those things happened. My life plan fell apart immediately after graduating. As the years went by I found myself watching others get the things I wanted. Meanwhile, I was broke, in and out of toxic relationships, internalizing trauma, and continuing to make poor decisions as a result of being low key miserable. That's because I wasn't in tune with my purpose. Everything I was chasing after, was a part of an image of "success" I created in my head. I even stopped going to church, because I felt like it was pointless. But the beauty of God's grace is that He gives it to us, even when we don't deserve it.
As cliche as it sounds, I believe God knew my heart and understood that I would eventually use the gifts He gave me to make a positive impact on this crazy world. So He let me stray off a few hundred times, but one day brought me back. Life got so hard, I hid my depression through smiles and cute pics. Eventually, I had no choice but to fall on my knees and learn how to pray for myself. I started praying for purpose and peace every single night for months. I knew that there had to be a reason God allowed me to make it that far. That's when He started to show me signs (through my job) that there was a lot of work to be done. I became engulfed in helping youth in my community, started going back to church, and dedicated my spare time to incorporating a lot of self-care to heal my old wounds. Soon enough everything started to fall in place. So what does ANY of this have to do with YOU?....
Glad you asked :-) I'm no biblical expert, but I can definitely tell you this from what I've experienced. If you don't find your purpose in this life, you will never tap into all the blessings God has in store for you. You don't have to be perfect, you just have to be selfless. You have to come to terms with the fact that you were put on Earth for a specific reason, and it may not be what you're pursuing right now. If you're struggling to figure this out, think of these questions:
What are you good at?What makes you genuinely happy?When was the last time you did a task that didn't feel like work?& Most importantly....How could this help serve others?
What makes you genuinely happy?
When was the last time you did a task that didn't feel like work?
& Most importantly....How could this help serve others?
If you can't answer them, then that's okay. Find a way to incorporate these questions into your everyday life. You can write them on a dry erase board in your home, put them on post-its in your bathroom, save them in a note on your phone, etc. I am a firm believer in manifestation, so seeing these questions everyday will definitely lead you in the right direction. My faith is so strong, now that I am on the other side of darkness. And I pray....right now...that anyone reading this who may be depressed or going through a troubling time will keep the FAITH. It is the one thing no one can take from you!
The bottom line? This life thing sure isn't easy but when you find your purpose it'll be worth it. I know you may feel like giving up but...Nah, Keep Going. Good Girls Finish First.